So over the past couple of months I have done a lot of thinking. It has done me so good and I keep thinking that I need to just write it down but I never have time to. Well, today I did.
I have been thinking about the person that took Matt away from Avery and me. He took him away from his parents, bothers and all his friends and extended family. Right now, I can say that he maybe sorry for what he has done, but would you think that if he was so sorry for what he has done he may try to contact the people that he hurt? Why would it take some one to contact him from Matt’s family before he would extend another “I am sorry.”? And from that, the response from him was that it helps him for his recovery to know that we, Matt’s family, are doing well.
Is it bad of me to not want him to get better, to not heal? I just think that his healing makes him think that what he did was not wrong. The longer I think about things, the more I have to say that I do not forgive him. People that say that they could forgive someone for this, well I will just have to tip my hat to them, because I do not think I could ever do that. There are so many things that I would like to tell him and so many places I would like to tell him to go. I am not sure if I can move on until I do that, but I never want to talk to this person again. I am not sure how I would be if I ever did see him face to face again. I may go off on him and blow up, but then again I am not one for confronting people so I may just cry or ignore him.
He was Matt’s friend, but that was the only connection that I had to him and his family. Yes I was getting closer to his family because we had both just had children, but that was it. I was never close to them. I have a connection to them, but it is one that I wish I did not have.